you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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