I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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