it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Randomize
