Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
