well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
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My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
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Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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