So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
