happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Randomize