Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
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