So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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