Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
We don't watch enough power rangers
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
