so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'm like, not good at living.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
