Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
