dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
