My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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