You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
