quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
