I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
