Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
