Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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