her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
