When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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