My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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