I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
