My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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