I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
