On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
