It's like God shit irony all over that family
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
