Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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