We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
