Four minutes until I can fart!
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
