Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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