Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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