dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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