epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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