i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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