We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
