but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
