sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Life is so much better after having sex.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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