ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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