Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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