I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
No subtext here. People are naked.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
