OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
