And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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