If that was your dad, he is hot
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
