I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
