I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize