Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
