He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
So. Much. Porn.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize