Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
