What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
