The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
