Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
