oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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