My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
only you would photoshop your dick
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
