Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
