yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
