he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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