Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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