'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
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He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
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It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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