my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
