So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
