I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
